call it a hiatus of sorts. a 'time-out' it was. but here i am once again 'for-the-moment' as i shall call it. there are things i need to think about. reflections to be made. words to be penned down. none are all too important. so what?
so 42 days have elapsed since the last post...
***
tonight i shall be silent no more. my words shall vent the anger, the hurt. cause tonight, i am Heathcliff...and this is my vengeance.
a misogynist's vengeance against what?
...the love that never was mine? love that only showed itself to me when i felt it not. and then abandoned me when i needed it the most. or is it the world that never seemed to understand? where almost everything is a cruel joke. especially me!
it must be fate then, yes it must be the fate, the one thing that never realized for me the promise that it had so readily showed? was it only a lure into cultivating faith, the one thing, that never must be kindled. the lie of the Almighty's creation. it must be that. it has to be that. the grand lie that led me to believe in change and in life.
they said, "Change".
i said "No".somewhere along even God said, "Change".
still i said, "No".
but then SHE said, "Change Heathcliff. change for me".
...i changed...
but they all lied. all of them, her & even God. they all lied. Nothing changes. they only seek to torment the sanity of reason's fabric with the false whispers of assurance.
'she says that she loves, but her love remains the one thing that i cannot have.'
is it only her? No, it is everyone. it is they that are the perpetrators of injustice. i am but a tool. a tool of truth's hateful vengeance upon the lying deceitful love. one by one they denounce me as 'mad' and 'irrational'.
'but do they even know what madness is?' ...a malaise, it definitely is not.
I shall have the last laugh. the final killing joke shall be mine. they will pay the price of their sins and suffer...and in them shall suffer I, Heathcliff, remaining forever a mere step away from the soothing hands of madness and to be tormented by the cold hands of vengeance. and in that lies my salvation.
...i am Heathcliff.
***
"my words are but an amateur's feelings on an unparalleled work of literature."
teaching and comprehending the text of 'Wuthering Heights' is something that i must try and accomplish as a part of my latest undertaking as a teacher. Emily Brontë's classic tale sure remains a book that i have loved, ever since i read it first as a kid myself, and it is only now that i have begun to somewhat understand the emotions bound and woven within the lines after all these years...teaching the art of understanding words and feeling the same can indeed be liberating as well as exhausting! be it 1801 or 2008.
