Thursday, May 17, 2007

of MRIs and sales girls...


so waking up early in the morning and taking Anudidi to the hospital wasn't as boring as i had presumed. its one thing to have to bear the atrocities of the Indian Medical System that requires making the patient wait and then scaring the shit outta them (like they did to poor ol' Anu) with the initial diagnosis...and completely another to have to sit in the MRI room with a loon!!


me sitting there as only a nice kid would. messing around with my cell phone to kill time, when suddenly the man sitting next to me sticks his finger into the 'leg-tag' of my jeans and asks, "is this a pocket?"

whoa! no buddy. it's not a pocket and you most definitely don't have to fiddle with it! but who ever cares about all this, eh? the next thing i know, he's tugging at it and asking, "doesn't it fall off?"

"NO! it does not fall off. at least its not supposed to, but if you continue tugging then it most certainy will rip off. "

still, he doesn't seem to get the idea that i am not quite enjoying being fashion-man-handled by him. even when I move to a DIFFERENT seat in ANOTHER room (thank God that finally they called my sister in for the MRI and so i could leave). but pretty soon he too walks in and once again, (plop!) sits next to me...

this time around his conversation topic was, "यह phone चालू नही हो रहामुझे number लगा कर दे !" (my cell does not seem to work, dial the number for me). What the Fuck??? what did you just say??? ahh, well let me take a look. oh! you need to unlock your keypad (i do it for him), now make as many calls as you like!!

by now i am ready to run back home and cry mommy!!
as for my sister, damn it, she should have been more worried about her broken back and her MRI, but no, even she was having fun at my expense. that is until the man turned to her and made her his next victim.

"so why are you here?"
"broke your back?"
"how did it happen? had an accident?"

"fell off your scooter?" .
..his final conclusion...
"girls these days drive too fast!"

wow!! modern day Sherlock Holmes!! now even didi was ready to bolt back home... :)

anyways, the only way that we managed to escape his clutches was to rush through the MRI and literally run back to the car. and now that i sit back in the comfort of my 'sheltered' home, i wonder what is it about me that seems to attract all such loons??

*sigh* and the poor old lady at the hospital thought that i was the patient who needed a brain scan!!


so, as if that wasn't enough in walked the sales girl to make my life perfect with her 'product'.

mid-afternoon the doorbell rings. i half dread that it must be the pesky neighbour kid wanting me to go reboot his PC for him (someone just tell him i'm not a software technician and neither do i know shit about computers. i only know enough to ensure that mine does not crash). so i hesitatingly tip-toe up to the door and open...just a little bit, good enough to see who it is and slam it back if it is the kid. whew! not the kid. a girl in fact. actually a cute chick!! ;)

me: *opening the door wider* yes?

SG (sales girl): hello!

me: *big smile* hello!

SG: can i come in?

me: and why?

SG: well i have a new product that your sister or any female member of your household might like to try.

me: i'm so sorry, but there's no one home except for me. too bad, eh?

SG: not really. even you can check out the product. ever heard of XYZ company?

me: nope. and i am most certainly sure that i don't want to try your new product. look, i'm in the middle of something and i can't spare time right now.

SG: *giving me the ultimate seductive look* come on, you most certainly use face washes. it won't hurt to take a look. you don't have to buy anything. just try it once.

me: look dear, we are not going any where with this. i don't want your product and i am perfectly happy with my current face wash. so there. i don't think we have to go through the trials.

SG: ok. as you please. thanks anyways.

me: sorry for that, but i really don't need any product.

SG: too bad, eh? (i like it. she's smart enough to use my own words. nice)

me: yeah, too bad!

*door shut*

in retrospect...damn!! i should have let her in and see where things went from there. for all i know, there was a pretty decent chance of some fun there. or maybe my mind's just brainwashed with too much porn!!



Gordon van den Heever said...


You dumb f'ing idiot....Why did you have to be that nasty. Life is all about inviting opportunities. Didn't I teach you that back on the isle....YOU COULD HAVE SCORED BIATCH!

Anyway, nice catching up on some of your literature....MODERN DAYS OF INDIA.....Oh, those f'ers here, well, they liquidated. Yippeee, oh, and I am gone in 2 weeks.

Why only now? Anyways, have buddy and I miss you. When are you coming to SA?


Ghost Particle said...

let her in and ur kidneys gone. trust me on this man, te devil walks in many forms. She might have spread the cream on your face, and the next thing you know, ur a bar top dancer in Thailand...or or...damn! she might have spread the cream on h...oh nvm!

I never sit when i got to any hospital or offices or wherever but ppl still come bug me :p maybe we are the great answerers of the world.

rajvi said...

Hi.. Heard the hospital one from urself which was more fun.. well u write good but description was better...;)

And about the SG thing... u surely missed out a chance dude..