mercury soaring...

it's getting hot!

...and i got the 'writer's block'!!

learning to be like cool...

it might sound like such a passe thing. but learning to be cool is certainly one of the toughest things that i have ever done/am trying to do/am aiming to do...especially from Cool himself!!

...life at the MSU Boys hostel is certainly a handful and it brings with it a lot of very interesting moments that are a result of the multitude of insane characters that abound about. take for instance my residence hall and its inhabitants. MM (Manubhai Mehta) Hall is definitely up there when it comes to having the cream de la cream of mad people...a ghetto of three distinct communities, it is the early 1900's LA/Chigao of the MSU campus...and admist all of us, the two most stand out characters are definitely 'Kutta' and 'Cool'...

lately Cool has being setting the standards for the kind of attitude that i so sorely need to somehow cultivate. it's interesting how he has taken the beatings and abuses of D i such a sporting spirit. almost as if it were a part of life and something that he simply has to deal with and get over with as soon as possible. but i'm damn sure that it musn't have been an easy thing to do. when the person you 'so completely' trust turns around and kicks you in the balls, one certainly feels very much let down. what had he/she done to deserve it? hadn't that person unconditionally given everything to the other person? almost to the point that one could say that he/she was like a puppy following around it's loving master...and when that person does something so irrevocably vile it is indeed an unpardonable sin...

...it makes you feel like a pathetic insect. your entire attitude towards life changes. you may seem to be doing just fine on the outside, but in reality you are a shattered wreak. everyday becomes an ordeal knowing that you need to lick your wounds in private and put on a brave face while they heal. and they take a long time to heal. and when you see/hear about that person everyday or come face to face with memories of better times, you simply don't know how to go about with it. you smile and walk on. but it hurts...

...trusting that person again becomes a hard, almost impossible thing to do. there is so much of emotions running around between Cool and D, that it seems almost ridiculous. after all, isn't Cool just the adolescent dog that lives in the MM dorm and D one of the senior students!! but still, Cool has taken his share of life's harsher moments in good stride. he simply steers clear of D nowdays. he hasn't forgotten, but it reamins to be seen if he shall forgive. and more importantly, will i ever be able to forgive and forget??

i do not know. but it's definitely interesting as to how much one can actually learn from a dog!!

:)

in a trance...smoky trance!!

hey!!

...its been a while and i certainly feel as if its been a long while...but here i am, alive and kicking as usual! :)

anyways, don't really know how to go about with this post...so i guess that i shall just go with the flow...maybe highlight some of the more worthy events that have kept me engaged...and then there is always the "fuck it, i was too busy sleeping" quote.

well first and foremost i gotta say that all that reading paid off big time. i mean, my paper/presentation at the Kafka Fest at the university was well received success...some cringed, some squirmed, some were aghast at my words, a lot of them coughed but the end result was that i was able to pull off what i wanted and shock the people present in the true Kafkaesque sense. got a video of the entire thing as well...its in the process of being converted into a digital format and is being edited. then i shall put it up online. promise.

secondly...Mommy is back!! i finally caught up with mom after almost two years and three months. and it wasn't as hard as i had presumed it to be. i survived it, she survived it! :)

apart from these two main major newspaper headlines, everything else seems to have fallen into a hum-drum routine sort of existence. exams are approaching fast, and i am caught up with a bit of studies. a friend (my ex roommate to be precise) is in the hospital in the ICU and so a fair amount of time is being spent paying regular visits to the hospital and spending time besides him making sure he doesn't do anything silly in his sedated state. i still have a paper to write on Sartre that my lecturer is begining to complain about (but i have no bloody intention of writing it. not right away at least). and i need to get out of this cyber cafe and meet up some people in say 10 mins and then go see the sick bugger!!

so hasta la vista...but shall be back again, sooner, this time.

ps: can't but help feeling Transcendal!!