oh dear! here we go again...

Oh my God! (rolling my eyes till i can see the insides of my head) well there are quite a few tasks that are being accomplished of late. and if i thought that it was time to say 'hurrah' and go around doling 'high fives' i couldn't have been more mistaken. for when you have a mother who is a certified workaholic like mommy dearest is you are brought up knowing that,

"no matter how much is accomplished, there is always tons more that needs be done. and done immediately."

Work, my dear, is the business mantra of the day!

***

exams begin as of tomorrow. so have been keeping myself quite occupied with academics. then as always there is the socialising that is so very important and needs be done. last week was 'Holi'. and damn we colored the town (meaning the Faculty) and our sorry faces in all sorts of hues, dug up a pit, filled it up with water and threw each other in it (pigs of the world, say "oink").

the fun actually started a bit early (around about midnight the previous night) for us with Jay deciding that it was a great idea to come over to my place for some coffee. Vyom and Grishma were already on their way to Baroda by then and even Chin was coming to town after her 7 month hiatus in London. so the water balloon bombardment started with Jay and myself ambushing Vyom and gang near the elevator itself, which then escalated into a full fledged 'color everyone pink and red' match that even saw Ujjwal being dragged out of his apartment and Kareena receiving the 'treatment' even as she slept in her bed.

Holi was never this much fun. i still have a few colored patches to flaunt, and my finger nails are still purple; and its been 3 days since Holi.

***

anyways, so here are a few random pictures from around the house...

#1 : evil roommate, Luke Skywalker, in his new age look. too bad you can't see the pink pigtail at the back of his silly self-obsessed sarcastic head, smoking the Hookah. this biatch needs pimping!! (some value for your money; he does make good coffee. anyone buying??)

#2 : the chill zone in the bedroom. we are a fluid fusion of Gandhian principles (note the Charkha and the tiny copper bell), Greenpeace corps protesting against global warming (plants...they are a must in the apartment) and Mary Jane lovers who have horribly matched curtains.

#3 : the aeroplane model that i am still in the process of painting pink and green and the twisted copper scooter that Mrugen fashioned out just for us.

#4 : that's the living room with the essential Hookah/Seesha, the patchwork quilt curtain and the hand crafted lamps that we made (yeah, we folks design our own stuff in the apartment). Notice the heads by the cabinet?? we toss them around and play catch!

#5 : the chicken coop/basket that also ended up as a lamp.

#6 : and of course, People Power. bikers all the way!! ;)

***

i have been trying to put my house in order for a while now. i mean, over the course of the past year i have spent a long long time being a very confused individual when is has come to certain matters of personal interest and desire. there is one quite undeniable part about myself that screams out "Helpless Romantic". and that has indeed got me into a lot of needless stagnancy in life. which in turn has only contributed to my turning into an extremely sour and irritable person. in other words, NOT FUN. but times are changing. i am learning. and i am trying. i have indeed made a lot of concrete efforts to change all of this.

"so far in life i have learnt how to fall hopelessly in love. now i am learning how to fall out of love."

that's something i must do. i am sure a lot of my friends would agree to that. well folks, i just got tired of waking up in the mornings and looking into the mirror and staring into the face of an idiot!

and things are indeed looking up. i am reconnecting with a lot of people whom i had lost touch with. i am exploring new avenues of friendship that i had previously shunned or shied away from. and i am enjoying all of this. letting go of things is a very hard thing for me to do. and when it comes to matter close to the heart, it is even harder. but very necessary.

"you may want to do justice to everyone, but in the end you must foremost do justice to yourself. i can't allow my life to become stagnant."

***

some matters of random nonsense.

this afternoon had me cooking up a theory of how to protect the Earth from an alien invasion and at the same time try and find a solution to the world's nuclear waste issue and energy concerns. one just had to construct a shield sort of object out of nuclear waste cans that can be controlled via magnetic force from the moon to move into the path of any impeding doom (an alien spacecraft or an asteroid in this case) so that it explodes on impact and destroys it. too bad Saad thought (and quite correctly too) that there might be domicile issues with the lunar surface becoming such a hot property of late.

but what if the aliens possess the science to tele-port themselves in to our bedrooms??

zappo mate!! totally cuckoo...mad you know.

...bought a guitar, chopped my hair, remained in a murderous mood (a carry forward from the last couple of weeks) that resulted in me telling a few people to go fuck themselves and let me be; then apologized to the same people for being so rude and cold, took the bus and came down to A'bad to visit mom before she flies back to the States on Sunday and since the past 2 days have finally begun to fret over the exams that are looming just around the corner...

***

have been in a zappo mood of late. guess that there is indeed something as male version of PMS or something of that sort. i mean, how else can one credit the sort of frame of mind that i have been in for quite some time now? you know that there are certain solutions to your predicament, but at the same time the solutions themselves are quite undesirable, if not to say, quite impossible to do.

at times thoughts are murky and the weight of a lot of different things and reasons holds you down while you try and figure out a way to do justice to them all on one hand and on the other you know that you can just toss them to one side and let your mind not be stressed with them.

total freedom. no obligations to anyone, no regards to other people and others emotions and feelings, no inconveniences for you anymore if only you could actually get do being so indifferent. but somethings you just can't. you must learn to accept it.

acceptance again is a pretty intense thing. have been mulling over that for a while now. i mean, it sure is one thing to know some thing for a fact and to acknowledge something. but to accept it is quite another. it's entirely different.

we go through our entire lives in a constant struggle of acceptance, something that we accept as the karmic justice, of everything else.

somethings we accept as given, the things we cannot change. somethings we accept for it's value to us, how much they mean to us and how is it that we determine this value, since somethings we can actually discern and choose from before we accept it while others we just take it in on its face value or show. but the point is once we have accepted anything, it becomes our sole responsibility. whether we make changes to the existing structure or we let it be the way it is, is our decision. others may and can influence certain things, but in the end the choice is solely yours, just like how is was your and your decision alone that in the first place ensured that you accepted what was on offer and willed that it be made your responsibility. now you may either build upon it, or simply destroy it. do what you must. make your choice and learn to accept the consequences of your choice.

life is intense.

but life is still very young and there is a long way to go as of yet. getting bogged down is not an option right now. there are avenues and opportunities for growth and new experiences to learn from all around. life is much more simpler when viewed with a simplistic and an optimistic eye full of humor. i have accepted that.

(wonder which kind of people you are? as for me, we all know I'm sheer genius)

***

"still, every now and then, the pupils contract to a certain focal point as the brow raises itself in an angry frown that raises dark thoughts, breeds a morbid feeling of uncertainty and leaves a certain taste of mistrust and disgust in your mouth."

:) ...what crazy thoughts, eh?? someone should go see a shrink!