saying goodbye...

27th january 2005...

nafiz's last day on this island...after almost 2 years of complaining nafiz finally left mauritius. a good thing, for him at least, cause whenever one feels stuck up in life, one has to move on. life is too important to be wasted like we all somehow splendidly manage to do on this island. i am sure nafiz that you would agree with this. but apart from this 'being practical' and 'moving on in life' bullshit, nafiz, you have managed to leave behind a terrible sense of loss along with all your stuff (the stuff including the condoms that you have left behind, which were in fact the ones that dan left behind)..the stuff part is sure to be gotten rid off a.s.a.p by heather...but getting used to not having fiz around is gonna be the hard part.

whoever said that saying goodbye was easy was damn right...except that it would
help if only we could not be so human and miss the people we say goodbye to.

anyways, the last few hours that we all spent back at 'da crib' and at the airport shall be certainly be one of the more somber moments that we all have shared, though we did manage to blend in some crazy stupid things like always...the crazy part being when hubert pushed the luggage cart with fiz's bags and myself all around the airport while i held on for dear life and tried to warn people out of our way and save themselves (this was a return ride for the one i gave hubsi in the shopping cart in Jumbo)...and the part where we played the grief stricken family members waving to fiz every time he turned back and looked at us as he prepared to check in...was kindda stupid, the things we did, but then we are always like that!!

like i said, nafiz has left behind a space that is going to be impossible to fill. now we have no one to say "fuck her" every time we watch a movie, no one to call the hubsi n timo "sick german freaks", and definitely no one to join in chorus with joel on a discussion on "boobs". a tough spot to fill...all this...and there are no entries qualified enough.

i suppose that it is going to be even the more do difficult for joel and myself...after all joel lost his boonga-boonga buddy, and i have had to say goodbye to my first pal in mauritius and my brother...

and when i say, "in life shit happens", i really mean it...if fizz's leaving wasn't bad enough, hubsi and timo are leaving come monday. i have no idea how i am going to deal with that...more so much since i am always going to regret not having spent enough time with them like i do with rasty and mitty...blame classes that must be attended and family responsibility that must be shouldered...but still i am thankful for all the great times i have had with everyone...the last six months on this island have entirely justified my decision to come to mauritius for my graduation instead of doing law in pune or economics in chandigadh...though at this point i have no idea as to how i'm gonna survive one more year after everyone leaves...heather's gone in may....and joel finishes his course at the university this semester. the very thought of this near future fills me with dread, but then i suppose it shall pass and new friendships will be formed....still....my life has been changed.

friends for me create a vacuum when they leave...a space that cannot be
filled...but a space that is not exactly a space in proper terms...a vacuum.

apart from this i still am very much optimistic in the terms that i really believe that i shall be seeing most of these wonderful people some time sooner or later...especially nafiz...after all how far is bangladesh from india? not much, i'd say...so fiz, inshallah...see you soon. as for the others, this world is a very confusing but small place...we are bound to run into each other again...or maybe i shall just have to take some time out of my life to make sure that i do run into you folks and then act quite surprised on seeing you again...

the times we have had on this island shall never come back...let's face
this fact...but they shall forever be etched into our memories like words
into stone...

in the words of the buddha..."the roads of life are meant for journeys, and not destinations"...

and with everyone on board it has been one such wonderful journey this time around.