literature and Sartre...

"what do we write? for whom do we write? and why do we write in the first place? also, what in the name of God is literature?"

such questions are incessantly popping into my mind since the last few days...and i know whom to blame...reading Sartre does that to me.


...Jean-Paul Sartre raises questions; and i can't but help raise my brow in doubt!

the return

its sure been a while since i have last been able to post, and by Jove i hate that. i miss my blog. anyways, the intricate twists and turns of life are as interesting as always. new stories about new people in new situations. each day is as new as the previous.

i can't seem to have enough of India and this has led to me personally believing that coming back to India was the smartest thing i have done in a long long time. Baroda is rocking (quite literally so) and time is flying while i pursue my dreams. but enough of me!! the humdrum details of my life in Baroda are not on review here...there are other things i must talk about; if only i could find the words...

"words, words, words"

...Hamlet said it to vent out his exasperation at Polonius's question...quite apt that i use them today when i find myself in a similar situation.

have been reading up quite a bit of late. philosophy, literature, theology, et al...you name it...Foucart, Kafka, Marx, Marquez, etc...and right now i feel like my brain is in overload. the thoughts and ideas are swarming around inside and the days are passing by in lucidity as i engage in one fascinating discourse after another with people from backgrounds as diverse as the imagination that men possess.

can't but help feel restless knowing that i know only so much. i need to know more. i want to know more. i want many things, and i cannot but help say the truth when i quote Marx:

"our intellectuals & philosophers have only interpreted the world. the point is to change it."

...i want to change the world. at least my world.

this is what happened...

life in back in India is a sweet experience that cannot be found anywhere else. after all how often can we look back and say, "this is what happened" and relate amazing stories of fun-filled moments...not very often i say. but well, this is the truth and i exaggerate not when i look back upon the memorable times i have had since i have been back from the island...

the first 2 days...unpacking, drunken night out with the girls (Sallu and Michelle), movie with didi and family and popcorn war with the kid sitting behind me.

first night back in Baroda...mela (i.e. local fair) and giant wheel rides and Bhaskar almost pissing in his pants after a particular rough ride. clucking like chickens while walking through the University campus towards our hostel at midnight and being chased by the guards.

the next day...attending the english lecture and sleeping through the class cause i hadn't slept the night before. finding out about the Mood-Indigo intercollege festival at IIT-Bombay and getting my arse into the MSU team by sheer bossiness even though i had missed all due dates for the form filling.

the day after...smoking hookah at Selven's and chewing coffee beans.


and the next day...classes, dinner at Rajan's (who happens to be my lecturer) applying for a job at Sterling-Hoffman.

and then...getting a call and clearing two interviews at the job place, more hookah at Selven's. chai with Angshuman at mausi's.


and the last two days...smoking up at Angshuman's, Saad's heartbreak over K and our subsequent teasing him, me and Saad going for ice cream and singing and dancing on the streets with Rajan in tow, catching a cold and spraining my lower back, spending a night alone in excruciating pain all alone in my room thanks to absent roomies who are partying in Diu, injections and medicines, practicing late into the evening for the Mood-Indigo play and the other University play.

...well there's a lot more. but this internet place has to close down and i am to be kicked out...

:) ...good night friends...

aalvida mere pyaare taapu...

...am leaving tomorrow

but i have no sorrows, cause i am eager to be back in the grind of life that entwines me back in India. life on this island has been good to me.

...far too many memories attached to everything and i have realized that to relive them alone is a folly. you can't be in Kenzi alone and neither can you set up a Braai without the big bru...so the only thing left to do is to create new memories, such as the one that involves Bananna Bar, Phoenix, Vodka and me n Yashraj yapping away to glory...

in any case, the strings that bind me to India are much too stronger and the only thing that keeps me coming back to this island is my family. but soon even that last thread may be severed once dad makes up his mind to leave. still, i shall remain an islander to the end of my life. the spirit of Mauritius lives somewhere within me.

...so even though i am saying goodbye as of now, i am pretty sure that i shall be back!!

philosophical debate...

...Sometimes there comes a time in life when a man must wear his "stretchy pants"...

(i.e. when he must sit back and contemplate on the more serious stuff; such as the meaning of living one’s life and this world at large. the term 'stretchy pants' being the idiomatic expression for all such major analytical and physical tasks in the lingual communicado that i share with my sister)...

anyways, so here’s one such healthy philosophical talk between L and me in its entirety:

L: "this world is an attempt to catch you with your pants down!"
Me: "thank heavens i'm not going commando!!"

...cause i certainly can't presume to change the plans that the world has for me, but the least i can do is to make sure that i don't come out of it looking like a fool exposing his arse for all to kick!!

:)

am back...am back...AM BACK...in MAURITIUS!!

hey!!

so i gobbled dholl puris, downed a can of Phoenix, went and slept on the grass at the Uni, played with RP & saw the most amazing sunset while i walked barefoot on the beach...

and only 24 hours have gone by yet!!

...i love this island. :)

2 weeks...from today...

it’s finally done. i got my it nary planned and i shall have my tickets in my hand in 2 days time, and from there on, if everything just goes on according to plan (ok...even if everything just goes on as usual and nothing new and unexpected happens) i shall be flying over the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean in 2 weeks time on my way to the island.

Mauritius here i come!! :)

well, now that i am certain that i am actually going, the very thought of being back on the island seems to have sent my entire thought process into a spin...till date i fail to understand how in the world i managed to survive for 3 years on that island?? i was so eager to leave and i am quite enjoying my time out here in India...but still, i miss my 'second home' so much. somewhere along the course of 3 years, amidst all the fun times and shitty times & through the upheavals in my life, in between Ramgoolam's election as the PM and the walks along the beach with my dad, somewhere somehow the island managed to sneak into my heart. you know how it is!

anyways, i am sure going to be reliving the good ol' memories of yonder days and raise a toast to them!! Buddha Beach Bar at Flic n Flac, Kenzi, Tamarin Falls, Mont Choisy, Reduit, QB, Saxo, Grand Bay, PL, Steers...and all that!!

...and of course PHOENIX follows me everywhere i go...

*update: well i just had to do this. Gordon's gift to me, and now my gift to you all. enjoy!!*

feels like a hangover...

i usually have a pretty effective means of dealing with problems/issues that affect me.

"i close my eyes and go to sleep"

knowing that i shall be able to tackle them with more vigor thanks to a rested and rational mind when i wake up. it sure is a rare occasion when i have lost sleep over some problem, but last night sleep eluded me. i stayed up half the night worrying and being annoyed; the other half was spent being annoyed and contemplating. all-in-all, the wee hours of dawn saw me quite a bit disappointed over certain matters.

...and now i feel like shit!!

alternative identity...

most of us manage to go through life without any identity, and living in India only makes this fact obvious to me. it is so easy to get lost in the vastness of this country and the culture of the billion Indians who wake up each day to a life that is in many ways changing and yet unchanged. the countless hordes of man allow for the complete engulfing of the individual identity, and this is what is referred to as Karma. we are bound by our fate. the same fate, for some, dictates the world to be at their feet and for others complete anonymity...

and what is the identity of the anonymous?

...but then, it is the same fate that entrusts upon us a particular responsibility that comes from our unique talents, one that we sometimes refer to as our "calling". it comes to us in mysterious ways and once it has given us a glimpse of itself, we become powerless puppets who are constantly lured by the enchantments of our "calling". that is the reason why Clark Kent was Superman, Peter Parker turned into Spidey, Bruce Wayne became Batman and the reason why i doubt my sister (i.e. Noella) to be the evil HB. similarly we all have our share of hidden powers, but they are suppressed beneath the mask of our hidden alternate identity. and my hidden (or henceforth revealed) identity is Ramabhai!!

...(keep reading for more on the Ramabhai saga)