Wednesday, January 16, 2008

i, the Black...

life is all about perspectives. we see things the way we want to see them. and we do the same with people as well. no, i am not always positive and cheery. i am at times brooding and deary. and when i get up on the 'wrong side of the bed' i am not white, nor gray, no shades in between or any color whatsoever...
i am pure and simple black.
...and i am not ashamed of it. but like anything human, i wish to go against what is but nature, my nature, the way that i am. i wish to change.

my 'black' nature was the matter of discussion last night. i was told i am unpredictable. i was told i put the opposite person in a dilemma with my silence. i was told i can be cold and inconsiderate, almost heartless. and i replied, "all that i am. and maybe more so with the ones i care about and love the most. but i do not enjoy being so."

***

i miss my sister. it's been far too long since i've seen her. she is still a kid and she needs her elder brother. 'she says so'. i have always been her shield against anything that tries to hurt her. but i have been selfish. i have put miles and miles of distance between us in my pursuit of 'my academics, a career, happiness and life'. but the truth is, maybe i need her more than she needs me. she is the unrealized and unappreciated silent strength behind my overtly vocal being. she is my opposite. she is white.
"only that i never say so."

1 comment:

Keshi said...

aww..

**i was told i put the opposite person in a dilemma with my silence.

so wut..it's their problem to feel that way, not ur's.

Keshi.