the clown inside of people's heads...

...you are an absence. you are a vacuum. what celestial rules govern you, i know not clown...

...but i do know that you have a way of filling the spaces inside the head. the quaint ticking of the clock, the gentle reverberating purr of the cat, the warm incense tainted air inside the room, the humming of the fan. they all seem be your pranks to empty the mind of it's thoughts under your comically morose influence. turning the likable nothingness and metamorphosing it into an invisible vortex. you are an insatiable pestilence. consuming everything from the inside out. devouring my thoughts.

the best thing to do is to feed you. do not mistake my generosity with giving up, i simply mean to stuff that hungry face of yours with everything i've got and hope that in doing so i might just choke you. you greedy bastard. make you gasp for air, turn purple and then roll over and die. so eat all you can. consume all the thoughts, the good and the bad. everything from the deepest recesses of my mind. eat till you can eat no more. and then die...

...i shall never run out of thoughts!

***

ps: came across this old picture from the mime days of Silent Call...the rest, as always is a rant against the seemingly insurmountable wall/block/clown/lazy bum inside of my head that prevents me from blogging more often.

in any case, have a fabulous New Year folks!!

sibling differences...

...siblings at times tend to be different. so are my sister and i. it's quite obvious in fact.

...i love my hair! i think that they are the wickedest wildest messiest bonding of Keratine polymers shooting straight out of my brain. and they are growing longer and wilder. just like my thoughts...

...when it comes to my hair, they prefer to come undone no matter what i do to them. but that is how i like it! i am incorrigible!!

***

***

the Great November gig...

Wow!! November flew away. and that too pretty fast...

tread carefully have we, upon the path unknown.
for who knew what awaited the turn
something good, was all we hoped
but unknown it was to us once.

..."wish you were here, my soulful November"

***

ps: images from the month await you all at the photoblog. so please go check them out!

story of two nights...

...

O' gentle Sylph of the glade,
guardian of nectarine cities.
elemental by nature, a woman's soul.
i beseech thee.

unveil to me the beauty i so desire.
the one caressing the fragrant breeze.
worlds underneath her feet,
she is all i seek.

sing me to sleep.
bring me my dreams.



***


born of words, darkness & shadows.
from tales intricately woven tight.

unraveling the mind's flight,
giving wings to my heart's Djinn.
unknown creature of the night,
many are thee.

"Bakhtak!"
listen to me.
thieve me of my sleep,
tonight i need no dreams.

...


for more pictures visit the photoblog.

***

...also find the same post @ Experimental Soup

of glimpses in the dark...

...

...

the dance of the flickering flame
swaying gently hand-in-hand with the breeze.
one bright flicker, one dark shadow
one casting the other, breathing life into each other.

playing a little game with their backs to each other,
one not meant to see the other.
there's glimpses of a beauty hitherto unseen
between the swaying of the flame
between the shadows of the night

one look, one long moment, one small story.

...

***

for more pics visit the photoblog

'seasons greetings' folks...may this year bring with it all the joy and happiness that we deserve. i know that i have been M.I.A for a while now. but then, i always come back. and here i am once again, with stories that need to be told. the Shah of Blah, the storyteller itches to speak all the time...but of late the words have been hard to find. thankfully i can feel them coming back to me.

so i guess i shall see you all soon.

...

the river song...

for more photos visit the photoblog

***


...ऐ साहील, तुझे क्या जानू मैं ।


पाना तुझे बस मेरी चाहः ।
ईसी चाहः का गुलाम, मैं अंजान,
एक कश्ती पर निकल पड़ा ।


मैं क्या जानू सफर करना माही में ।
ऊम्र बीती मेरी इस कश्ती में, लहरों पर बहते हुऐ
तुझसे कोसो दूर ।


सिर्फ़ ख़यालो में देखा, तुझे क्या जानू मैं,
ब़स मैं जानू तुझ बिन जिना ।


ऐ साहिल तुझे क्या जानू मैं ...



***

for more photos visit the photoblog

...O' river bank, what do i know of thee.

all i know is of my desire to reach thee.
the slave of this desire, in my ignorance
i took off in a little boat.

what do i know of journeying in the river.
i have spent a lifetime in this boat, riding along the waves
a million miles away from you.

having only seen you in my dreams, i know nothing of thee
all i know is to live without you.

O' river bank, what do i know of thee...

(...English translation of the same)

09.09.09 ...

...it's like a deadline.

i had promised myself that i would shrug off the 'lazy-feeling' and put something up today. after all how often do we get 09/09/09 ...hehehehe...i remember my 06/06/06 post (link here)!!

well in complete contradiction, a reverse flip if one may, today was nothing like that day. i did not wake up with a cleaning bug stuck in my a**, there was no rain, didn't fight with anyone over the Batman v/s Superman supremacy issues...instead i merely sat at home for a few hours after dragging myself out of bed. then went got me some tea and ran into friends at masi's. sat down with them and chatted for an hour on dangerous driving. got home, worked, got kidnapped and went all the way to the highway for some more chai, gobbled paani-puris on my way back (my abductors refused to keep me for any longer), got home and then fell asleep again...Newton's Law too seemed too lazy to apply itself on a flat object like me today.

and now, here i am typing away meeting deadlines imposed by a mere date on the calender.

such is life. it is good.

***

for more pics visit the photoblog

...the mandatory picture of the post. a little something from my latest wanderings...

***

ps: went to Mumbai recently & craziness ensued...i am going to write a journal-types post on the whackyness of my days in that town...someday. soon. i hope.

:)

Gods in Stone...

well folks, this is a guest post for the one and only Mehreen (aka. Warm Sunshine). it's been a while in happening, and i thank my lazy habits for that. but here it is nevertheless. and oh! yeah, the guest post is up on my blog as well, once again thanks to my laziness that prevents me from coming up with something separate for this space...

***

for more pics go visit the photoblog

...

walking over the grass, turning it into a path,

miles traveled by the exhausted feet.

for a promise was made to the spirits of a journey

at the end of which await the Gods in stone.

time-traveled over generations,

the journey in me still remains

and one day it makes me walk the same path

to come pray to the Gods in stone

a vague poesy is my prayer

discarded just like that.

some words i said to the stone

never said back.

treading back

along the same old path,

the lament in me now poured out.

my eyes see things a bit clearer.

i traveled all the miles,

only to ask things of a stone.

so chide me for being so blind my lord

for i wanted you to mend my broken desires.

foolish that i was, but no more shall be

laying along the path, by the Gods in stone

i've been taught to see.

...

the story of a lie and the truth...

for more pics visit the photoblog

***

a little lie once was told.
wrapped in a smile & clad in plain white
nothing too fancy to behold,
it was just a little lie.


the plain truth once was said
slithering silently through the dark veiled eyes
a venomous spite, fraught with dread,
it was just the plain truth.


***


the little lie if unraveled
becomes the venomous bitter truth,
and entombs the poisoned heart forever.

bringing a cheer instead of a mournful cry
keeping the dark veil of truth at bay,
is the innocuous little lie.

...so the moral of the story is?

walking amongst clouds...

for more pics visit the photoblog

...

the old stone, damp underneath the feet
wrapped in moss, slippery to say the least.
i walk with careful strides with eyes set ahead
the many garish sights before me pass unnoticed.

and then i stop.

i see the misty haze waiting across the street
now i must walk amongst the clouds laying ahead.
slipping through my fingers they embrace your warm body
and caressing your raven hair rest upon your long eyelashes.

i wish i could touch them.

...

for what its worth...

LAZY self reliant student Morphing into a mushroom devious COFFEE Vadapav History rolling not-a-somnambulist MUSIC Foodie Lover MIXED FRUIT JAM Paani Puris money foolish BOOKS smoke Kinetic SON running master cat FRIEND spontaneous COUCH POTATO rational Cricket gossip JESTER brother shutterbug secretive HOLIDAYS actor Writer SLEEP Guitar single vodka Cold rambling CONSCIENCE academic Wanderer JOYFUL crying BAD HAIR DAY djembe beats Movie Buff FLIRT casual Rajma-Chawal odd assimilating rains Blogger CURIOUS spiritual Poet cake chocolate Beaches hiking OPTIMIST reserved blue T-SHIRTS ice cream Classic Rock pacifist EXTROVERT cigarettes Jack Daniels traveller MSU jumpy Physics loud EASY duct tape Teacher candles Dogs unforgiving Trains angry SURPRISED justified Neat ordered Quirky shorts ECONOMICS liberal Over Smart CRAZY suave etc...

...ME

***

while lazing around at the English department...

...go on. end of post. scram!

the monkey and the cloud!

"tut tut!! little monkey!"

dangling from the branch
reaching for what is but mine,
do you know that it might snap?

the moon shining in the lake below
is not for you to have, crave and desire.
she is not even real. just a reflection.

you shall but fall & drown!

***

"tut tut!! stupid cloud!"

you think that floating up above
right next to the moon i love,
she is yours to have and keep?

you only obstruct her, conceal her
with you she can never really shine.
float away with the wind cloud.

I won't be going anywhere!

...so who do you think got the moon? :)

once again. insanity!

Fine Arts Annual Display 06' ~ Sukriti's works

...क्यों रे पागलपन, किधर था तू इतने दिन?

तुझे किधर-किधर नही ढूंडा मैंने।

बड़ा बत्मीज़ हो गया है तू...



...you, masquerading little daily puzzle;

24 pieces it says on the box.

some lost. most found.

its never a complete picture.

i finally see with my own eyes,

i missed you. you fool!



...रात भर जागे-सोए,

ईंह: आधे अरमानों को पुरे करने को देखे कुछ सपने।

दिन को सोए-जागे,

मेरे आधे सपनों को कुछ पुरे करने के थे अरमान...



...i wake up & go back to sleep.

you sure torment me!

crazy insanity...

Fine Arts Annual Display 06' ~ Sukriti's works

a musical folly corrected...

*Sigh!*

"i was foolish enough to attend a local rock concert. i had hoped against hope for good music. i was foolish."

***

...so here's a bit of a saving grace. a little something for all Pink Floyd fans. don't ask where i got it all from. i have pretty much every fart sound those buggers made...

***

ps: there are 4 tracks on the playlist...indulge! :)

a boy with his comic books...

"Did he who made the Lamb make thee?" ~ William Blake (the Tyger)

...spent time in the College, discussing poetry with the professors. this year's batch at the English department is sure to have their task cut out for them and a lot to contemplate about. Byron, Blake, Keats, Shelly, Tennyson, Milton, Lee Hunt...some of the ones i like are 'IN'. sadly, i am not a student of literature per say.

i have always pushed the idea of incorporating a study of a certain kind of modern literature, the comic book one, into the syllabus. comics have the capacity to open an entire world of human thought channeling it into a graphical vision that has only added to the meaning of the written word, despite being camouflaged in ink strokes. from my first comic book of Flash Gordon and emperor Ming battling it out, to my collection of Batman comics and the dark Kafkaesque insanity of the Joker's existence and purpose, comics have gripped me unlike any other form of written literature. if Nietzsche was the dark prince of the philosophical genre, who immortalized chaos and insanity and the utter lack of human morals in his books, it was the Joker that brought his ideas to life. the Sandman saga of Neil Gaiman re-established the existentialists and their order of the inevitable death and the meaninglessness of the resurgent and constant human effort against the unstoppable tide of time. sometimes bodering on the very edge of our foundations of right and wrong and even God. comic books and poetry have a lot in common. it is the idea underneath the ink that lures, and in some cases to the ones that dig deeper, it appals.

Watchmen. ~ Alan Moore

...sometimes nothing need be said. sit back and enjoy.

"Economics might your bread and butter, but Literature is your jam and honey that you so very like to spread over your bread."

~ Susanne Ma'am

...i do have a sweet tooth.

here and there and again...all in the rain!

the feline's lazy stretch is interrupted midway and suddenly his fur springs up, electrified...the ears twitch continuously and in one leap the cat is at the window. looking out. disapprovingly. cats never liked water anyways. i am a different story.

like the parched earth, i too await the first rain...to drench in it. to let the water droplets spatter all over me in their fall from the heavens. to listen to the booming call of the thunder that promises more rain. to see the streaks of white lightening dart down from the skies, telling me that my wait is over. now is the time to indulge. rejuvinate. and i do what i always did as a child. run out and stand in the rain...

"for a while a part of me long gone, lives again in the rain."

...then i take the bike out for a ride. stop by at the chai-walla. but today i shall order a coffee. "ekdum kadak karna mausi." light up a cigarette. sit down and see the world pass by, some running helter-skelter to escape the downpour, others calmly soaking up like me. on the way back home it is the obvious stop at the paani puri walla. indulge me!

"the 'current' me has his own way of enjoying the rains. "

...today was the first rain of the season.

*

*

***

inside Crossword

rains mean books. a few shorter hours spent picking up the right ones i would want to read...

...and long hours by the window reading whilst the rain drizzles outside.

***

pigeons are filthy birds. i never really liked them. to me they are pigs with wings. just that they are uglier. the cat too has a certain disdain for them. he merely swats at them with his paws...




...but they do make for being good subjects for the camera!

***

pot by the window. not pot-head by the window...

the pot by the window

the pot (b/w)

the water pipe

...and a few things beyond the window as well.

***

the lemon law is quite simple. Barney swears by it as do many economists (the Lemons & Plums story!)...

dumped lemons

...guess someone else does too. more than Barney and the economists!

*reference: How I Met Your Mother*

***

eventually, we all come back home! but the real fun lies en route...

God's two children...

Fine Arts Annual Display 09'

...epochs are traversed in search of him. time in which civilizations were built and destroyed. the sacrifices that we have made; cutting out our own beating hearts at the altar, pillaging our own homes and burning our own children. all merely an attempt to placate an insatiable hunger...

stones, metals, mountains, rivers. our hands have carved, bent, melted and molded them all. even as wars have been waged and battles have been fought over centuries, during which we pushed ourselves to the limits of our imagination and resourcefulness in turning stones and sticks into a screeching messiah of instantaneous death and annihilation. we put our only world at stake to build a house for him who shall never come down to us. was all this was but an illegitimate bastard's attempts at finding the approval of his father and to appease and uphold him? him, who had forsaken him at birth. him, who had walked away a long time ago.

"we are the angry children of an angry God."

we shall burn the ones who say otherwise. we shall rape and murder the ones who oppose us. we shall eradicate the ones who stand in our way. and in doing so we shall find our rightful place beneath the feet of our father when the day of reckoning comes.

***

for more pics go to the photoblog

...time is held still as we find the peace within ourselves. a sense of belonging with the world around us. a world that was created in immense beauty. a mirror to the joy that our birth brought to him...

the gentle fragrance of the blossoms of spring bring to us the message from him. we are to be flowers ourselves and spread the love that we have been infused with to the ones around us. bring joy to the beleaguered and tired eyes of our fellow men. like the flower of spring does to our eyes. we are to heal the wounds of misguided hatred with our compassion and save this world that we have been bestowed with for the many children of our father who shall one day come following in the footsteps of our father himself.

"we are the happy children of a joyous God."

we shall rebuild that has been destroyed. we shall restore the joy that has been taken from us. we shall embrace all those whom we meet. and in doing so we shall one day meet our father who shall embrace us into his arms when our time comes.

***

...so which child are we?

neat hi chalega...

it is a crazy thing to be wanting and wanting and wanting. not just for yourself but for everyone you love and care about as well. it is equally insane to be demanding, reciprocating and compromising for the things that matter to us in life whilst simultaneously cajoling the mechanisms of Karma to grease and smooth out the glitches in "OUR PLANS". on most days we simply run headfirst along a trajectory to our future...

...on some days i settle down into my comfort posture, lean back and remain so. and the inspiration to do so comes from the most mundane of things.

things may not be 'fantastic!' neither do they have to be 'just right!' sometimes a simple 'neat' is all that matters to satiate the ferocious ambition of the myopic and short-sighted Nachi that is fueled by the capacity to compact life in to 'momentary' bits.

for now i am satisfied. for now i am happy. tomorrow, is another day. "aaj ke liye mere ko neat hi chalega."

today i could very well be a Diogenes in a barrel with a cat in my lap...

...but for the fact that i don't have a barrel!

flying in my dreams...

Where the hell are you? gone MIA? lazy arse!!


the melee of being at the crossroads is not overrated. there is something about the paradox that is the inside and the outside. perspective seekers argue upon which side we really are on. does it really matter? we are all here. stuck in being transient. momentarily put in a situation where we have to once again choose.

...at least it all leads to somewhere! wish me luck. it's my time to choose. and knowing me, it's not going to be what i think it is to be...

***

...Also, just a few lines that i found. some words that we boys sang back when life was about no one in particular and the rum made it easier to say cheesy things and get away with it. somehow, it still is...

...flying in my dreams.
there is something in your eyes,
that something in your smile...


that makes me want to fly!


and now that you've gone away.
i'm loosing track of time.
i wonder what's been so wrong,
cause i feel so lonely deep inside.

...you're still on my mind,
every time i close my eyes
it's just like flying in my dreams...

~ Geo & the island boys!

...there is a minute long clip of the actual performance of the song too. but somehow i can't seem to upload it to blogger or youtube for that matter. eh, shit happens!

the madman and his stars...

Tathir's works...Fine Arts Annual Display 09'

...conversations, the little occasions when words turn up decked in their Sunday best. some are dressed suave, others hip. most are causal. only a few truly intriguing. and so we decided to converse, me and a friend who once made a flute that played a quaint tune. for a long time we both said nothing. and then thus spake he...

"The madman who used to collect pebbles in the streets once during the night looked up at the sky. He then started collecting stars thinking of them as pebbles...Now we don't see many stars in the sky!"

~ Akhilesh Arya

...i agree. we don't see many stars. i miss them stars.

painting a sunrise story...

...the early morning lark,

sings the songs of dawn

shattering the rapture of silence's oration.



riding the wake of the waves of emotions

a twisted tale of love and seduction

brought to an early end.



thus begins a new story for a new day...

MY Rights...

ITS A MARVEL! really! and we all abide by it. at least we presume to do so...






...so yeah, i got Rights you know? damn you! i have SIX of them to be precise. all in a neat order, mind you.

1. Right to Equality.
2. Right to Freedom.
3. Right against Exploitation.
4. Right to Freedom of Religion.
5. Cultural & Educational Rights.
6. Right to Constitutional Remedies.
   

"YOU! do you have them?"

***

...so anyways, Indian life is actually based around these Rights. kindda like the planets revolving around the sun. they really don't have a choice, do they? there is this big round ball of fire and they oscillate around it. there are these Rights, and you 'right as well remember them'. you want a different perspective? too bad. go F*** yourself saale bhenchod. chalta baan. aage nikal...

spending hours at the railway station waiting for the train is an eye opener to the uninitiated in their so called 'Constitutional Rights' and their actual "This is India, sirjee" Rights.

1. You have the Right to wait patiently at the platform for your train , over a period of time that may actually be more than the time of the journey itself (you never ever whine about the train being late. Are you driving the train? Am I driving the train?).
2. You have the Right to carry humongous amount of luggage, pretty much consolidating a moving refugee camp to shame. cause you have a RAC waiting list ticket.
   
3. You have the Right to launch a search and locate operation to find the Luggage Room and then the Stationmaster and everything else. once you find them, it is your right to deny everyone else the same information. let them launch their own Search & Locate Op.
4. You have the Right to call your relatives, friends and even extended family members to the station to keep you company and help in the S&L Op. we are Indians. the more, the noisier.
   
5. You have the Right to be racist and gender biased in hurling abuses at the fellow platform inhabitants in a game of 'pass-on-the-abuse'. But beware, eunuchs are not part of the game. they are mere money collectors. think of it as a tax. to pay for your Rights.
6. You have the Right to pay up 'kharcha-paani' to everyone. starting from the TC to the coolie (how racist were the English to coin up that term? saale gore). If you ignore this Right. they have the Right to make your life a bureaucratic and laborious hell!
   
7. You have the Right to maintain a sadistic and humorous demeanor towards all. especially to the harried passengers on the train that has arrived 20 hours late by asking them, "what man, how late are you folks? you folks were taking a leak along the tracks all this time or what? you sure missed the IPL semi-final. cracking match it was."
   
8. and finally, You have the Right to run. run as fast as you can before everybody joins the lynch mob and beats the crap out of you (actually you can beat the crap out of you too in the heat of the moment) in a "behti Ganga mein haath dhona" types moment.

***

...i pity the Americans the most. i really do. all they have is the RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT and then the one phone call...




but once again, just imagine the NYPD cops busting an Indian immigrant. the one phone call would be an international call to "Chunnu, Munnu, pappa, mummy and tau and tai and kaka and kaki and phupha and phuphi and pados wala Bunty and aapni Rashmi and the entire village back in India."

free ka call hai bhai. baat kar lo!

we are Indians. Mera Bharat mahaan.

Jai Hoh!

:)

***

*update*

PS: further inquiries into the clowning matter reveled that the felon in the picture is actually Chriz. he was arrested for a drunken chicken-stabbing spree and trying to enter Guantanamo Bay disguised as a clown. he maintains that he did so solely for the purpose of wanting to get a hamburger from the prison cafeteria. officials believe that to be a lie and are investigating the matter further.