''ringing out the old, ringing in the new'...

...there are tales to be told. plenty of them. the last fortnight has indeed been quite eventful.

...hope that 2008 turns out to be better. its time again to make 'the list of resolutions'. i have made mine. this coming year i am going to spend more time for 'myself'. its time to make 'ME' the number one priority in all spheres. there is so much that i want to do and the only way to getting around about achieving any of my desired targets in life is to concentrate solely on them and banish everything and everyone else to the backseat and the secondary priorities list. so tonight i shall be raising a toast to a new year that (hopefully) focuses on myself.

& no, i'm not selfish! ok, just a tiny bit maybe, and that's allowed. in any case, most often than not, i am bad at keeping my resolutions. ;)


so what are your resolutions?

the foodie gets ready to hit the road...

the bags are packed and i'm all set to go. shall be leaving for Mumbai tomorrow early morning with my masa (uncle), and to be quite honest, i am sort of looking forward to the 8-9 hour long drive. its always fun traveling with masa. (hehehehe) all the roadside Dhabawalas better watch out. here come the foodies!

in other things, have been spending a lot of time with family of late and it sure has been some good fun so far. agreed that Ba can go a bit overboard at times with her 'incessant worrying for the NRI gang's comforts' (damn us Indians & our hospitality concerns. अतीथी देवोः भुवः। can end up feeling like असंभवः कार्यः। at times) and drive me and didi from pillar to post. but its ok. family is worth all the little personal inconveniences. so its usually, shopping with di for her marriage (we Indians shop like crazy when it comes to weddings), distributing wedding cards to friends and folks, meeting all the people di wants to meet before she leaves town, running around buying groceries for Ba, being Ba's handyman/plumber/electrician et al.

also, in the past two days that i have been in Ahmedabad i have actually come to accept the dry humor that life is all about. only in my last post i was cribbing about my anti-social tendencies and reclusive attitude towards my friends, and hey presto, it seems that all of a sudden all the long lost and least expected to run into friends are the ones bumming into me at restaurants, malls and on the street. so first it was Shanaya and then i happened to have a run in with Parth followed by the best surprise of all, in one of those...

"hola! what the fuck are you doing here? and is that even really you??"

...moments with Dhaval Sheth (frack has been living in Australia and the US ever since passing out of High School and was in town on one of those so called 'flying visits' ), Paulomi Dave (a junior from high school who is currently dating Dhaval and is almost marrying him as well) and dear dear dear ol' Megha Chayya (haven't seen her since 10th grade. and now she is married and has a kid who is a year n half old already). wow!

i must say, somebody sitting up above seems to be pulling all the right strings in order to have me remain existent, even if its barely so, on the social circuit and amongst friends. call it luck i guess!


:)

current song playing on the play list: 'From the Beginning' by Emerson, Lake & Palmer.

Woman even if you are reading this, it don't mean that the war is over...

just got done applying oil and massaging my Masi's hair for her...eish! these herbal hair oils really redefine 'stinking'. had to wash my hand thrice with soap to get rid of the smell. apart from that, it was a crazy day today!!

wasn't really planning to come down to Ahmedabad this soon. in fact, the original plans actually had a direct Mumbai trip jotted down for the 15th. there was no Ahmedabad in between. but then, a few days of getting up on the wrong side of the bed in Baroda, and a phone call from didi was all it took to have me packing my bags and leaving today morning from Baroda. an impulsive start to the day, and what a day it was! impulsive to the core!

it has been a constant nagging reminder at the back of my head that over the last 6 to 7 months i have actually become more anti-social as compared to before. gone are the 'meet random folks and make friends everyday' rituals from my first year back in India. instead, i stick to the few people whom i have somewhat inculcated into my daily life in Baroda...

i meet a fixed set of people, do the same thing almost everyday & avoid anything related to and everyone of my friends from my days in India before Mauritius. and even with the few 'select' people i am randomly moody and see-saw between spending almost all my time with them, and not meeting them and spending all my time locked up in my apartment (many days at a stretch) doing nothing but reading and sleeping

...until my flatmate, Luke, finally gives up and throws me out of the apartment (with physical brute force if need be) just to get me out.

its not that i don't like having people or friends around...its something inexplicable that drives me to be this way of late. my mom says that i am outgrowing my friends at a very fast pace. faster than the rate at which i meet new people and make friends. she believes that i am getting saturated and that as of now, trying to focus on my academics would be a better idea than to try and sort out my social problems (dad certainly agrees to the latter part! all he wants is for me to excel in my studies and work. बाकी सब बातें बाद की बातें हैं। अभी सीरफ पढ़ाई करो ।) .

in the most random of things, today i met Shanaya. guess that after more than nine years i have changed enough to confuse her to the point that she couldn't recognize me straight away. was actually funny the entire incident. had gone down to Shanaya's place with didi to hand over the wedding invitation to her dad who happens to be my didi's favorite teacher from High School. was sitting there on the couch when Shanaya walked in and greeted di, acknowledged me in the 'hello stranger in my house' manner and began chatting with didi. not wanting to spoil the moment i simply sat there sipping my lemonade and made no effort to jog her memory. pretty soon she quibs, "Oh so even Nachiket (she always called me Nachiket) is going to be there at the wedding right? too bad that you are getting married in Mumbai & that we can't attend. would have liked to meet Nachiket." well that's when both didi and i cracked up...well to cut the story short, was an entertaining hour we spent at my secondary school sweetheart's place.

;)

in other things, more serious things. i know that i have been an absolute dick-head and a class A jerk when it comes to my relationship with the woman. agreed that we have our differences and that our points of view in regards to life are somewhat not concurring, and that this has very heavily impacted our friendship and our relationship. we have both done the things that we have done and made the decisions that we thought would make us happy and not necessarily the other. and in doing so (and i don't want to be mincing any words here) there has been a lot of bad collateral. more so in my case. but how-so-ever mad that i may be at her and that no matter how much i may crib and complain and act like an ass, the fact remains that somewhere down the line i am glad for her. i am happy that she is finally able to take a stand and make a choice and that she is willing to live with the repercussions of her choice, both good and bad. what more could you want from someone whom you love like no other and consider your best friend. its just that i am not very happy to be at the receiving end of the whip and that makes me quite sullen. yes, i have been hurt quite bad and i also admit that the way that i have handled that hurt over the past months may not have been the best. not talking to you, not seeing you & avoiding everything that reminds me, how-so-ever minuscule that remembrance may be, of you. thought that maybe i could forget everything and simply move on to a new place, new friends and new things. after all, isn't that what i do best?

i eventually move on and leave everything behind.

...but trust me, you got me in quite a fix here woman.

just catching a glimpse of you today while driving around the city had me all, "stop the car!! i need to get out and see her." don't know why, but despite all my efforts at being an arse and not wanting to have to do anything with you, today when i saw you all i wanted to do was hold you and embrace you and kiss you and tell you that i love you and that i miss you and that i'm sorry that i am such a jerk (although i guess that i only managed the hey and miss ya part, that too in a formal manner). no matter what i happen to say and do, nothing changes the fact that you will always remain a very very important person in my life.

i have always claimed proprietorship over a lot of things in our friendship. guess that i also have the claims over the right to be 'the stupid jerk who acts like he knows all and who has an ego bigger than anything else known in the Universe'. it's just that i miss you woman. i really do. i'm not saying that i'm wrong in being hurt and that whatever happened was the best way to go about with things. its just that for me in many ways, nothing has changed. i still love you and i miss you and i guess that i'm going to have to try harder to not do so.

best friends right!

***

*update: 7th Jan 2008*

...it's sad that things have come to the point that people's perspective have changed to the point that one cannot even speak anything freely anymore. no one has any rights over anyone else's memories and thoughts. the curtailing of my own freedom of expression is as far as i can go. even for you. this once its done. never again. cherish the memories and have no regrets or shame. they were not that bad.

goodbye my dearest friend. no sorries, no thank you's. that's the rule of friendship...

and she says, "dodo"...

have been in a spaced out mood all day. and i am only referring to it as 'spaced out' cause i really have no words to exactly describe it...

nostalgia, sheer joy, the throes of disappointment and disillusionment, some remorse, a tinier bit of anger, a larger portion of optimism, a bit of grit and perseverance, थोडा सा reluctance & hesitation, quite a dash of dry humor and a lot of contemplation

...just some of the emotions that have been brewing up inside of my head thanks to all the brain juices that are being jumbled around and shook up. it was better when i was sick! at least i had the satisfaction of knowing that all that mattered at that point in time was the infectious cold plaguing my body, and not some unknown feeling brought about my my own imagination.

it is a soothing feeling to spend some quality time with my didi before her marriage. the little tasks of day-to-day life have become the ones that bring out the best moments, knowing that pretty soon things are going to be very different and that such times will be hard to spare. it's funny how managing to slightly singe a roti while making rotis can lead to a burst of insane laughter as it reminds us of the time when we were kids and while trying to imitate our mothers in the kitchen we actually managed to burn not just the rotis, but ourselves as well. sheesh, the hiding we got afterwards was worse than the burn!! i'm some what saddened by the realization that soon she is going to get married and move to Mumbai to her own house. but on the brighter side, she won't be there to bully me when i come to Ahmedabad in the future. ;)

something inside of me actually wanted to go to the temple today. it was after a long long time that i was in a temple simply cause i wanted to, and not because i wanted to check out some architecture or intricate stone carving or idols. i actually went to the temple cause i felt like it. and it helped that we had to go to the Gayatri temple in any case to offer the first invitation to the Gods for didi's wedding that goes out as per our tradition. so i went to the temple with Ba and didi. i stayed for the aarti (prayer service) and also managed to astonish myself by recollecting and saying correctly quite a decent bit of the Sanskrit shlokas that formed part of the aarti & ended up sitting at the steps of the temple with Ba while she narrated several 'notes of significance' on the Hindu culture and divinity. ...

i'm glad that i have a family that stresses on the importance of learning about and respecting, if not adhering to, our traditions and culture. it saves me from getting lost in the me lee that is my personally cultivated sense of liberality that says, "to each his/her own". sometimes a lot of individuality spread around by a lot of individuals can bring about a sense of confusion. and i guess that is precisely the reason why we need all this; the religions, our spirituality and our God

...was going through old pictures today. didn't want to or intend to, but ended up doing so. pictures from my days back in school and high school. pictures of people i call friends and whom i love. pictures of people whom i have not met or spoken to in months if not years. and pictures of people whom i don't know when i will meet again. i know that i have the ability and opportunity to go see them and talk to them right before me, but i am incapable of doing so. i love them and i miss them, but i can't reach out to them and let them know about it. this is the way that i am and i know that it is not right. i need to change. i tried to change. but i failed. maybe someday i shall try again, and hopefully that time i shall not fail.

guess mom was right when she said that, "when it comes to you, i have come to the conclusion that, no news is good news."

exactly the way it is...

i'm dead!

Almost.

...i want to go back to Baroda...but i also want to spend time with my Ba and didi and the rest of my family. i want my sister to come to India. it's been over a year since i've seen her and i miss her. ok ok, i don't miss her. i just want her to come so that i have someone to pick on and bully. i want my cat! i miss him more than anything else in this world. i also want to play Age of Empires. i hate the Motorola handsets. i can't figure out anything in them. i'm sticking to my good ol' Nokia.

i want to have a decent BBQ!

i'm dead tired. i want to sleep.

chocolates, genetics, laundry and a box of books...

yay! thanks to the fact that i'm chilling my heels in A'bad, i have been blogging regularly. hurray!! i think that i need to celebrate. "pop goes the last Ferraro Rocher in my mouth along with the rest of box and the other ton of chocolate in the fridge that i have consumed in the last 3 days"...

;)

anyways, there are a few things that i happen to realize every now and then, that manage to freak me out of my own pants! and i seem to have inherited them all. guess that i ended up on the wrong side of the genetic structure when my parents and their DNA's were "playing birds and bees". come on,

dust and pollen allergies from both my grand mothers, a highly sensitive nose from my maternal granny, a 'lazy-bum' attitude from my father's side of the family (as per mom), irresponsible and a self centered mindset from my mom's side of the family (as per dad), a certain something that Freud would call 'anal-retentive' from my grandfather that is all about being unable to get rid of things & hording useless stuff as weird as this empty bottle of Powerade back from my days on the island, being an incorrigible book fiend (from my daddy), obsessive to a point when it comes to cleanliness matters (thanks to mommy), totally hopeless in communicating with friends and family over distance (both mommy and daddy), having a bug stuck up my arse that demands order and structure (from Ba) and plenty more

...i seem to have got it all.

so, mom and mama thought that it was a good idea to call me in the morning all the way from the US simply to say that Ba's cell was out of reach and that i should call her and tell her to come to the living hall to talk as the thick walls of the house at Camp cause interference in the network. i mean, tremendously tech savvy thinking, except for the part where they somehow forgot to consider that i was at my masi's and if the cell at Camp was out of network area, "how in the world was i supposed to call Ba??" eh, i had finally found the flaw in the everything is do-able code that persists in my family, or so i thought. even this flawed order hardly drew an eye blink from masi, as she asked me to call the neighbors and ask them to go over to Ba and tell her to move to a more network accessible part of the house!! what-the-????

there's always a way i tell you.

...i spent most of my morning washing the bed covers and sheets once i made my way down to my Ba's place. she refused to have me manhandle the 10-12 year old washing machine that needs manhandling to function and instead decided that it was a better idea to have me beat and wash the sheets by hand under the running water. when complained to about the extreme amount of labor, all she had to say was, "this is nothing, we washed gaadlas (mattresses) also this way. and what is the use of you being all young and going to the gym if you can't even wash a few bedsheets by hand". hmm, any answers anyone?

the afternoon was spent indulging my orderly bug that was humming inside of my head telling me that my books (i.e. my personal library) needed to be arranged and tallied (despite the fact that i already had an idea about them from my last census sometime back). so i ended up, cleaning, counting and making an inventory of all the books that i had in the cartons at my Ba's house. 3 hours of such labor saw me holding a list that read, "221 books with the names of their respective Authors and Publishers; comparing which to my memory of the previous count, i noticed that Leo Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' and the Great American Heritage Dictionary were missing from the carton." now i need to find them (i hope that i haven't lent them out. i hate lending out my books to people, you never get them back. ever). maybe they are in Baroda. they better be.

i know. i am insane.

:)

अबे चड्डी छोड़ ... और लक्ष्मी बम मत फोड़...

it takes a lot to actually confess that you are afraid. but what-the-hell, you put me anywhere near a firecracker that goes *boom/kaboom/bang* and i'd rather exchange places with Pheidippides and run all the way from Marathon to Athens! somethings are better left for others to indulge in, and firecrackers for me are on top of that list. i'm not a pyrophobic, acousticophobic or something of that sort. i mean, i do like the ones that are less noisy, light up and are pretty to watch. i do really!

anyways, yesterday i kind of saw something that i thought i'd never get to see again in this capitalist world. i saw a woman who was walking around my Ba's house peddling utensils. the novel part about her was that she wasn't selling the utensils for money, instead she bartered them for old used clothes...

it really was like a blast from the past observing a form of human ingenuity and exchange that is as old as maybe the time when the first ape-predecessor of humans decided to give the fellow tribe/troop member an apple in return for the orange he/she held.

...(although my bet is that for them it was more likely to be "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours"). anyways, its a wonder that certain things manage to find ways to retain their existentialism in a world where most things are going for a toss. my economic theory trained mind couldn't help spurt out questions such as; how does she even manage to break even bartering old clothes for brand new utensils? what does she do with the old clothes? where does she sell them, if indeed she does sell them?

...and then i realized, this was means of exchange that existed long before Adam Smith, Ricardo and Keynes. and it will continue to last long after we have answered most major economic fundas. after all this just goes on to prove that money is not everything. it's just a means of exchange and it is supposed to facilitate our lives since as specialized producers of commodities we humans cannot provide for all of our needs by ourselves. but that should not make money paramount. after all, one may survive just as well even in the absence of such a medium if there are alternate means...maybe they should teach us more about all this in all the Business Schools!!

in other things, my allergies are acting up again. i have been cleaning the house at Camp and the dust accumulated over the months is enough to kill me. plus the onset of winter has announced itself in the usual 'cough and cold' that has really gelled well with my allergies. being sick, especially with a runny nose and continuous sneezing makes me irritable and crabby on an on-off basis.
in matters of random banter, i like the Surf Exel advert...it says, "अगर कुछ अच्छा करने में दाग लगे तो दाग अछे है।" but the part i like best is when the kid tells the other kid "अबे चड्डी छोड़।"

...and Anu didi, for your information (even though its like 15 years since the incident), "it was the cow! really it was. i swear".

;)

the brat pack...

there are some things that are replaceable in life, and then there are a some that are simply not. the funny thing is that most often than not amidst the storehouse of life's things, there is no clear way to determine which one is which.

anyways, in more concrete thoughts, last night as i lay in bed alternating my gaze between the pictures on the wall and my Ba (maternal grandmother), it just struck me that time is such a fleeting thing. it only seemed like yesterday when as kids we cousins used to run around the house in Camp (my Ba's house). a bunch of howling, screeching, up-to-no-good team of indefatigable brats, that's what we were

Palak di having lived in US all her life, and the new American kiddy trio of Sachika, Saahil and Sashrik are not accounted for in this bratiness although they manage to hold their own just fine.

it was only yesterday that Ba taught me how to keep time in Gujarati on the grandfather clock in the living room and differentiate between dodh (half past one) and aadhi (half past two) after innumerable attempts, threats and cajoling. it was only yesterday that Ruju didi marshaled her troop of brats and led them up the hill into the ruins of the old castle (that in reality was this old abandoned building on top of a mound of dug up earth). it was only yesterday that Anu didi bullied me into doing whatever she wanted to while playing. only yesterday that we ran to Ba every time we heard the Cotton Candy man's bicycle. only yesterday that there was so much...and today?

well today, Ruju didi is married with a kid (my dearest little Dodo Rushku), Anu didi is getting married this December, Rhythm is studying and applying for her masters in Dental in the US, i am still a student in Baroda, Mithila is on her way to becoming a doctor and Noella is almost done with her schooling in Mauritius. wow! where did time fly?

in the old brat-pack, everyone is either getting married and settling down or busy making their careers. and now today is the onset of a new generation of tiny monsters led by Rushika. there is so much that i look forward to from them. an entire new world of mischievousness is waiting to to discovered.

all this makes me feel old. and i miss the good ol' days. and I'm sure that if there is anyone who feels the passage of time as strongly, then it is my granny. she has seen it all.

but the bottom line is that maybe there is a new bunch of kids in the family with a license to make trouble and create chaos, but they still have a long way to go before they even come anywhere close to us!

:)

the absolute homebody...

now that my flat mates are gone to their respective families for the holidays the last couple of days seem to have been entwined in a drowsy stupor that has so far obliviated time. i mean, i really have lost the concept of time whatsoever in the sense of a daily discipline that is normally upheld. waking up at 4 or 5 in the evening, reading and watching TV when not sleeping and not stepping out of my house seems to have become the normal thing to do.

holidays tend to allow for such discrepancies.

in other things, when i do manage to gather enough energy to step out of my apartment and get out into the world (in the words of my roommate, "it is not beyond you not to leave the apartment and remain confided for God-knows-how-long. you seriously lack a life when you are having your lazy days.") i have mostly been biking around town with Saad at odd hours. biking along the highway to Vasad for dhabha food, roaming around the city at 2 in the morning looking for tandoori chicken and ending up having a run in with the cops who just want to mooch off on poor students for their Diwali bakshis, etc.

on the Diwali shopping/splurging note there is just the usual book buying spree that i indulged myself in...dad sure threw a fit when i showed him the bill that i had put on his credit once i was done filling my shopping cart with books. ;)

and yet i am bored. i drift along the path of indecisiveness that in the end has me doing nothing concrete. i want to restart my gymming. i need to get some paperwork done regarding my license and i need to seriously try and figure out a way to understand my family and try to come up with means to survive them.

i want to take a vacation and go somewhere alone. but the only feasible destination for me remains my apartment. so that's where i shall stay and remain amidst my books and my ashtrays filled with cigarette butts that i managed to puff before i quit.

OK...have almost quit. i am getting there to that stage.

a bowlers game...

"i'm going."


and that was about it. there really wasn't much to explain considering that during holidays the parents were more than content to let the boy off on his own, running around the town and being up to no real good...it was better than having the boy stay at home and crib and complain all day and put up with his whining. too bad that the boy couldn't stay put in one place. he had his books that he devoured at an astonishing speed and then once he was done reading he had nothing...that's when the whining started. and that's when the boy decided to get going.

the boy loved his cycle. it was a shade of purple with a dash of red thrown in. to the boy there was no better color. the sleek racing bike was his ride and he adored it and he pampered it. it was his first love, and for him, at that time there was none better. the boy's destination hardly took him 10 minutes at max to reach on his cycle on a route that he could ride with his eyes shut. and yet in those 10 minutes he managed to find something new everyday. the dust and the grey factory building remained the only constant landmarks. the potholes were the variable in the equation; always there, and then there were more the next day. the people also seemed to increase by the day. the city in which he lived was a growing entity that was ever hungry and that seemed to swallow whole the areas that once were the outskirts. there was no stopping this beast. it simply grew on. the dull grey of the factory building was in itself impressive. the massive letters that spelled out the name were something that the boy always thought could have been better done some other way. still it was there as he rode past it.

the heat and the dust was no deterrent to the boy and his friend. there is something about being boys, maybe its the age, that makes most things in the natural order bearable. the mid day sun was a scorcher that sent everyone scurrying for cover. the asphalt on the roads would turn greasy as the tar melted under the hot gaze of the fireball while the dust danced about in small wind funnels sucking up the plastic bags and other garbage in the same manner that a house is uprooted by a hurricane/twister. and yet despite all this the boys carried on in gay abandon their game of cricket. one bowling and the other batting.

the boy enjoyed cricket, and especially bowling more than anything when it came to the matter of any physical activity. for him all that mattered was the fact that he had the cricket ball in his hands that he could throw at his opponent who was batting, make him dance around as he toyed with him and finally castle him and shatter his stumps. and every time he did so, he sported a wide victory grin. but most often it was the other way around, the boy's friend being a better batsman, managed to pick out the boy's intention and thwart him in achieving his goal. the ball would promptly be dispatched to the other end of the ground and the boy would scurry after, bearing in mind only one thing.

"it mattered not how many times he got hit for a boundary. what mattered was that every now and then he would manage to produce that perfect delivery that would leave the batsman gaping and standing rooted to his spot like a fool on a podium."

and that was reason enough to retrieve the ball and get back to the marked run-up and continue bowling. he had his heroes in the pacers of the international game who did the same at a much tougher level and he had to live up to their expectations and never give up if he was indeed a 'real bowler'.

the human thought is a funny thing. it has a systematic eccentricity about it that makes it so. the conscious memory of a person is something that we build up in the process of building ourselves. we learn to remember certain things in a certain manner that helps up mold into the sort of person that we are. the other aspects of our lives that get classified as the daily and mundane are locked away in some discreet corner of our brain, condemned to be forgotten over time. but that really never happens. our thought capitulates our past into the necessary and the unnecessary and adapts it to the present while at the same time brooding over the yet to pass future. but then there are always triggers that release the locked away memories. sight, smell, sound, touch and the other present senses stimulate the past and force it to surge forward like a wave crashing on to the coast. it engulfs you and grasps you in its folds and drags you along with it back to the past. and all one can do is surrender to it and feel the wild emotions flow through one's body and enjoy it.

...revelers, that's what we must be. today i reveled in the memory of my boyhood and my friends and the games that i played as i grew up. today was my first day of the so-called-holidays. a nice and sunny day outside with a clear blue sky.

:)

holiday plans...

and so considering the fact that the holidays are knocking at my doorstep, i really am a pathetic planner not to have charted out a sort of plan for the month long "arse chilling" time that i am to be bestowed with. ah well, i guess that i am just going to stay at home here in Baroda and do nothing!!

life is good when doing nothing. no traveling, no working. no socializing, no everything that is in the order of my daily life (which my roommate would vouch actually consists of nothing)...

hurrah to doing nothing! NOTHING ROCKS!!

ps: have been splurging on books and intend to do more of such.

life as contemplated over breakfast on a sunny day...

sometimes it makes much more sense to simply let things work themselves out for us. sometimes pushing and prodding stuff to make it happen does not lead to solutions...

the veritable sage once said, "Problems are either unsolvable or they have a solution. if they have a solution then there is no need to worry about them, and if they don't have a solution then there is no sense in worrying about them."

...life will deal with things in its own Karmic mannerisms. so be good and hope that life returns the favors with a bit of interest.

am in Bombay today. wasn't planning to, but then here i am. all it took was a call from mom asking me to accompany her and a six hour train ride (mostly spent sleeping) and here i am. traveling seems to have taken up a significant majority of my time of late. ever since i decided last summer that i needed to get out of Baroda and the horrendous brain-rot that i had gotten myself into, and decided that the best way to do so was to travel and keep my mind occupied, i haven't looked back. hidden amongst the immense landscape of India, the cities of Kolkata, Cuttack, Bhubaneshwar, Warangal, Bombay, Surat, et all have seen me stop by in my endless pursuit over the months. i have managed to regain some of my rationality and have also been able to give my creative side a greater leash to explode into my writings and workings...

but now it seems as if i just can't stop. i have always had a life that has taken me places. wonderful experiences all of them. but then, somewhere along the path it seems that i have managed to entwine myself so tightly in my traveling-seat that now even if i want to hop off and stay put, i cannot. i can only take things one day at a time, not knowing where i shall be tomorrow. i have a firm picture of what i want to be and where i am going in life in general. just that i seem to have lost myself in a strictly geographical context. yesterday i was in Baroda, today i am in Bombay, tomorrow i shall be in (?).

...people ask me where i am from? "from here and there" is what i reply... आजकों हम यंहा है, कल का कीसे है पता। ...life is fun when its uncertain. but only in the short run! in the long run stability is what counts...that's the lesson of the day in Basic Economics for you students. now run along. class dismissed!

ps: currently reading 'By the River Peidra i sat down and wept' ~ Paulo Coelho।

relativity can be fatal. it just depends on how you see it...

something that everyone prefers to do on a holiday is to catch up on sleep. the sweet comfort of knowing that you are not required to drag your arse out of the bed and face the nuances of a daily life is a feeling that is not reciprocated in the breaks that holidays beget in my daily life...

somehow i have managed to negotiate my terms with life in a manner that allows me to snooze on unabashedly on a daily basis. losing out on my sleep is something that i am not willing to compromise on.

...call me lazy! but that's the way things are with me. still, today i decided to go all out and try and force my laziness/ability to sleep to the limits. and i failed! ah well, i have learned to accept failure in my stride. life teaches one such things.

in other things, the one place where i am fighting a constant battle is with my so called smoking habit. seems as if the entire world (i.e. dearest Ani, Bela ma'am, Summi, Chicka and my mom) have come to believe that a cigarette and I are synonymous. *puff puff* ...ah well, i wage on my war for my friends (and partly for my own "super-large-cannot-fit-in to-a-tinned can-EGO" that refuses to accept defeat to any substance that strives to subjugate me with it's addictive habits). my cigarette is like my paramour whom i visit every now and then. i spend some time with her and then move on...i go back to life as it is supposed to be...and then i come back to her again. and she always welcomes me with open arms and slaps me with her nicotine kick and then embraces me in a smoky haze.

smoking can kill! DO NOT SMOKE!

i am looking for a job. it just seems that i have plenty of time that i am not utilizing in the optimum manner. working and having a job would sort that out. but its kind of hard to just take up any task that comes up to you. first there is my father to contend with, who has a very strong belief that i am not supposed to waste my time doing odd silly things for a job. my sole purpose is to study and nothing else. for that he is willing to provide my with all the necessities (and to an extent quite a bit of luxuries as well) in life. all i have to do is study. that is the deal. on the other hand i have my own sense of elitist requisites that prevent me from taking up a task that i feel is below my qualifications and abilities (there is no way in Hell that i am going to sit and receive calls from all over the world inquiring as to why their PCs don't work, only to remind them that they need to plug it in first. Outsourcing and working in a Call center/BPO/KPO is just not for me. i am not a receptionist who is going to say, "hello how may i help you sir?" in an Indian accent). and because of that i have suffered so far. but finally things are looking up and there might be something that i can substantiate as a "decent job" to my father and "a challenging experience" to myself. but for now i am keeping my fingers crossed.

oh by the way, today is the birth anniversary of a certain Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. dude first got us our independence and then a public holiday on his birthday. hurrah to Gandhi! Happy Birthday man and thanks a million for everything...

thought for the day: success is not something that can be accounted for by immediate gains.

~quotes on the AMTS bus.

;)

pitstop blogging....

considering that i have been quite unable to blog of late, i really don't seem to have felt the pinch! you know, the "damn, i miss blogging!" feel that regular bloggers usually suffer from once they are removed from their lofty seats. i felt it initially when i first came down from Mauritius, but now i'm just used to it! Internet access is just a walk down the lane, and yet its as if there is an unfathomable distance that needs be covered...life is moving on!

in other things, i finally got my second tattoo!! Yay!! i have always wanted this...my family symbol that rests atop the crest of the family temple is finally inscribed into my body...dad thinks that i'm loony and mom simply shrugged her shoulder and stated, "You were always fascinated by that symbol right from your childhood. its no wonder that you want it as a tattoo now!"

in other things, might soon start free lancing for the Times of India! heaven knows that the Baroda edition desperately needs a face lift and better articles in terms of quality writing.

another set of Pickwick Papers??? i believe not

...but something shall come out of it...at least i'm going to try and make it happen so.

apart from that...life has been pretty cool. India lifted the Twenty20 World Cup in South Africa and we really kicked some arse in order to do that. even Gordon has to agree to that! guess that the twenty20 format of the game is here to stay... just got done with the Reading and performance of Macbeth this Monday. and the best part was the cool reviews that we got in the papers..always makes one feel good when one's hard work is appreciated.

anyways, i gotta go run along now...have to give a presentation on the issue of Genocide for my political studies course...bet you have quite a bit to say on that Jaanu!!!

to all those whom i know and love..miss you all and God bless you!

;)

the ripples of Tapi...and a very old city!

so i'm here in Surat!

considering the fact that i have been looking forward to this trip since quite some time, it really has lived up to my expectations. something that is quite rare!

i very vividly remember the journey to Mauritius, there were so many things that i had imagined...and so little that i found at first glance. was sort of disappointing. but once again, the wisdom of the ages prevailed, and i learned to keep a hold on my expectations. life has a way of revealing itself slowly. it takes it's own sweet time to initiate us into its mannerisms and there is not much that we can do about it. we just need to learn to go with the flow. everything is worth it's wait! patience counts and life never manages to fail to amuse and astonish me. yes, we may feel let down at times, but it's just a matter of time. time is infallible. Mauritius was worth it! Life is worth it!

anyways, Kaz's home is worth the trip! its the most fabulous house that i have come across. i really have no idea of how to go about explaining it. but all i can say it is that her parents are amazing...her dad is a freakkin genius of an architect/artist and his home reflects his creativity in a mirror image. located on the banks of the river Tapi, it is a symbiotic confluence of nature and art. everything withing the house is a work of art (including her mom's cooking! magnificiento!! and the kitchen wine that they make??? amazing!!)

the only other house that has enchanted me as much remains the cabin that Dez had rented. remember the lovely beach house to the south of the island?? all i can do is sit and wonder when am i going to have the resources to have a similar house of my own! i know exactly how i want it to be.

am in love with my house. even though it does not exist yet! still i'm in love with it!


there is a lot more that i have to say...but right now i must go. life is good and i am living it. i'm going with the flow and there's nothing that i regret about it!

ps: by the way, the history behind this city is that this was the city that the British first sailed into from the Arabian Sea and up the currents of the river Tapi under the guise of the East India Company. not a very fond memory for us Indians, but it's the truth nevertheless.

until next time! much love!

:)

the story teller...

have put on my writer's spectacles and scratched my brains and pondered over a lot of things that need to be said & now it's time once again to write! to liberate my thoughts and drown myself in my experiences...

it's time to tell a story and see myself through the ink that seeps into the paper as i pen down the words that personify the solidification of my abstract imagination!

...am writing a story! actually two stories! and i have an hour glass in front of me showing me the passage of time, that as usual is not my friend in this race...one week...two stories! it's going to be fun!

:)

ramblings...

considering the fact that everything seems to have taken a step towards being a snippet out of an old slow motion movie, life seems to be going on pretty decent. the same old monotonous routine and the same faces around. and still there's so much happening...feels like as if in a dimensional wrap or something of that sort. i must do something to break the chain...maybe i should go to Surat and visit Kaz (Saad can tag along if he wants to see his girlfriend and Ani is certainly being dragged along)!

in other things...i have to go along with Ani and meet the Governor of Gujarat this Friday. then catch the train on Saturday for Surat!! Yay!! i'm certainly looking forward to getting out of Baroda for the weekend.

and yes, ever heard of the following?

'single track mind', 'a whore and a half', 'red, ocher, burnt sienna with a tinge of olive green piece of shit'!

wonder where people come up with such innovative titles/epithets???? ;) no wonder we all love Ani...only she can say all this!

plus, what is the deal with Krishnamurthy and the entire Existentialist Philosophy?? have this irresistible urger to dive into a proper explanation of the entire matter, but won't. Sartre, Nietzsche, Kafka and Kierkegaard shall have to wait a bit longer before i discuss them, their works and their thoughts on my blog!

Chocolate Chip Ice Cream is yummy & indulging is blissful! need i say more!

:P

squishy yoyo's...

just when i was finally thinking that "maybe, just maybe, my life is falling into some sort of order" i am once again reminded of how instantaneous life is in reality and exactly how much i thrive on my capacity to adapt and go along with the flow.

but first and foremost i have a confession. i have been bad! the reasons, i hold back...but let it suffice to be know that i have been not up to the standards of my best behavior (

& i blame Saad for the me lee that we have caused & for the moral dilemma that we have put Fahad in to. :)

so this weekend was sort of planned as a quite little rendezvouses with my cousin Anuradha, Milan (who flew in especially from Mumbai for the occasion) and my uncle and aunt at Mount Abu for her 25th birthday. Mt Abu is this lovely little hill town situated around about a 5 hour drive from Ahmadabad. a picture perfect destination that was a much welcome escape from the heat and the bustle of Baroda and Ahmadabad. not that we stayed too long, for we must have been there for a maximum of 30 hours or something, but they were just what we all needed. in any case, the pictures are up on the photo blog for everyone's viewing pleasure.

secondly, i am once again engaged in a house hunt. this time around we are all looking for a place for Anindita who got so unceremoniously told to leave her wonderful house just cause the owners were incapable/ unwilling to rent out their place to someone from the Fine Arts Faculty after the aftermath of the protests. its a long story on how they (i.e. the fundamentalist organizations) are creating problems for the students and the supporters of the liberal cause in Baroda. but that is a matter unto itself.

for now we are looking for a house! and if nothing works out, Ani can always move in with me! (HURRAH!! a certain part of me wishes that so bad!!) :)

later then amigos!

cya.

slide...

tch tch...

the apartment is still not as clean as i want it to be. but its getting there. in a few days, yes just give me a week more, and it will be perfect. but until then let's put my somewhat germaphobic thingy on the side and talk about other things.

for one i like my new roommates. Luke and Nibha. man, just when you thought that life would get a bit saner and fall into a rhythm everything goes for a toss with roommates like them. tossed straight out of the seventh floor window. and add to that the fact that Kareena (Yeeeoooooooooooooooooowwwwl!! *doing the bad wolf yeowl*) is moving into the opposite apartment; damn!! ;)

ah well, life has it's moments!

so finally the strike and the protest has been called off. the Governor has appointed a seperate committee to investigate the actions of the Vice Chancellor of MSU in the wake of the Chandramohan incident. so the Fine Arts faculty has finally begun academic activities after a month of strikes and protests led by the students. external interference, especially by the so called moral police and the self appointed religious fundamentalists is totally out of order in an educational institution such as the MSU. we students believe in that, and we stood up for that. and now our voice has been heard. special kudos to the students of the Fine Arts faculty! Anindita, Baba, Samudra, Kaustabh, Goba, Luke, Nibha, Raj, Mrugen and everyone else...great going guys!

awight! now i needs be pushing off! Kaz just got to town last night. a nice little surprise trip just for Saad. the look on that idiot's face was worth a million $'s... lol!! now i need to go see those two fools and also take them off poor Anindita's hands. they would have driven her nuts by now. then some bank work...and the back to the apartment for project clean!

later folks! shall try and keep posting at regular intervals...

ps: Ghosty, i too feel that white best describes me in this blog! so am gonna stick to it! anyways, thanks for suggesting.

(current song playing on the ipod: Slide ~ Goo Goo Dolls)

while in Mumbai...

so this time around circumstances took me to Mumbai...

considering the fact that it was Anu's engagement ceremony and also Bharti masi and Manish masa's 25th wedding anniversary, it was quite inevitable that i be there. after all, one cannot miss out on a really really big party has that the style and flavor so distinct to my family.

hell yeah, we are one big Indian family that is as diversely spread as India itself, but we also know how to set the roof on fire and party like there's no tomorrow

:)

anyways, i have a train to catch tonight that shall take me back to Baroda and my apartment and project 'clean-till-you-drop-dead-or-until-the apartment-is-as-good-as-new'. but before i leave, here's some pics from the party!

***

Mithu, me and Rushku

Anu didi, Mithila, Rhythm didi and Ruju didi

moi, Rhythm and Rujuta.

Anuradha and Milan: the ring ceremony

(0k ok ... i tried uploading all the pics..but they just wouldn't happen quick enough. and i don't have the patience to sit here all day...i need some chocolate milkshake and i need to make sure that my sisters behave themselves! sheesh! looking at the way they are acting right now one wouldn't believe that one's a dentist and the other is one her way to becoming a doctor!!)

***

ps: despite the fact that i love my current template, i was considering a complete overhaul of my blog and the way it looks...should i or shouldn't i??

and once again i'm singing 'Happy Birthday to you'...

well this time around the birthday boy in question is none other than my dearest pal Tejas!! damn, can't believe that he made it safely to the grand ol' age of 22. man, kudos!! you deserve it...

anyways, here's your birthday song:

आपको जनम दीन की बहुत बहुत बधाई ... आज के दीन आपको मीले खूब सारी शुभकामनाए और पीटाई । ;)

god bless you my brother. here's a toast to your sorry arse back in Australia! (Jack Daniels it is)...cheers!!

was great talking to you last night...and yeah, i still got plenty left in me to keep up with the partying. just that i'm in a pretty 'anti-amdavad-peeps' mood as of now (you know how it is with me). but just wait until you get back. that's when we turn up the tempo.

ciao!!

हर रोज़ लीखी गयी दास्तान् हमारे ज़ीन्दगी की ।

"one day may seem so insignificant and mundane...yet many days put together tells the story of my life."

What the??? ...hehehe...

i took the test and this is what they came up with...

& It's a tie!! i'm...

You are part Harry. You're a loyal and courageous friend. You'd do anything to protect the people you love, especially if it'll get you a break from class for a little while. You are part Hermione. You're a bookworm always in search of answers. When pressed, however, you can always be counted on to put away the books and help your friends.

i guess, now all i can hope for is that Harry and Hermione manage to get hold of some super powers in the last book.
;)

walking in the rain...

yay! the monsoon has finally arrived...

the first rains of the season lashed the city today. the signs had been there for the past 2 days. but it was only today evening that the overcast sky finally decided to open up and pour down upon the waiting masses. the peacocks had been crooning all day and then the clouds themselves joined in with their loud booming music. the thunderous beats which the hearts of all the people numbed by the scorching Gujarat summer had been waiting to hear!! finally they arrived. and with them came the rains.

it took us (me and my didi) only one look outside at the pouring rain to make up our minds. and within a matter of five minutes we were both changed and on our way down the apartment and into the pouring rain. the rains forced us to leave all our stuff back home and for a change we were once again without any cell phones, any wallets, any music players or any other new age gizmo. well, can't really put in in words what it feels like to take a walk in the rain, can i? but i'm pretty sure that most have had the experience. but today, our little sojurn took both me and my didi back to our days as kids. the fun we had playing in the rain. the paper boat sailing, the water splashing, the puddle jumping, the school bunking everything came rushing back...

life just took a step back 15 years and we were once again little kids. a 12 year old girl and her kid brother playing in the rain. can one ask for anything more???

well, we did ask for more. and we got that as well. the walking around had made us hungry and the only thing that would have appeased us was 'paani puris' (now i really don't know how to explain this Indian dish to my non-indian readers. the best i can do is try and put up a snap from the net). and imagine our delight when we found a paani puri wala standing right at the corner next to our building. didi promptly rushed up to go get the money while i waited near the laari. and then it was paani puri time!!! :P

"paani puris"

finally we decided to head back upstairs to the apartment once the rain ceased it's pouring onsault...just in time to get the camera ready for a few snaps before we got ourselves some steaming hot dinner and tea (yeah, once again i took my tea cold. i just can't drink hot tea; even if my life depended upon it).

well so there it is, one more day that goes down the memory lane as an unforgetable experience. after all it's not everyday that the first rains of the monsoon arrive and when you are once again nothing but kids.

last but not the least i leave you all with a Gujarati folk song/ rhyme that we sang as kids everytime it rained...

"आव रे वर्साद, धेबरीओ वर्साद, ऊनी ऊनी रोत्ली ने करेला नु शाक।"
"aav re varsad, dhebariyo varsad..ooni oooni rotli ne karela nu shak!"

:)

me and didi.

didi: as drenched as a fish in water

me: drenched as a street puppy in the rain! ;)

the curse of Hamidaben's tea...

They said, "find inner peace?" I looked; it wasn't there.

but then, i guess that being cursed does rob one of one's share of inner peace. and being at the receiving end of Hamidaben's ire was certainly something that i hadn't considered a serious threat. that is until it struck me and left me dumbfounded! it all started of as innocuously as any other daily occurrence. back then i didn't even bother enough to care. now i am terrified of it to the extent that had didi make extra tea.

Hamidaben is the almost-old maid who comes to my aunt's to clean up everyday. she nags and does a sloppy job, and she is terribly inquisitive...in other words, she is the 'perfect' baai (i, myself, on the other hand would like to nominate Kena for that position). well, those things apart, the day before...that's when the story starts.

i had just woken up and was still groggy when didi handed me a cup of tea and asked me to heat it up in the microwave. she also said some other stuff, but i never managed to catch it...and i never even bothered to try to. so i put the tea in the microwave and tinkered the thing to set it for 20 seconds and then walked off to the loo.

then i went on with my life. like i do everyday.

just that everything that i happened to do went wrong..the PC crashed and then wouldn't restart..the AC stopped functioning and my cell phone also began to give me problems. i misplaced the book i was reading and even after turning the house upside down was unable to find it.

and then in walks didi and turns on the PC with the push of a button, the AC starts gushing cool air, uses my cell to locate her cell and she finds my book on the table. damn, i guess that if i had stepped out of the house i would have run the risk of being run over by a bus or something where as she would have been showered with flowers instead.

and the cause of all this turned out to be 'that' cup of tea. i had forgotten all about that tea in the microwave until didi happend to find it stone cold inside the microwave at 5 in the evening. i merely shrugged my shoulders. after all i am never too keen on tea (coffee is a different matter)! and that was when didi told me that that tea was for Hamidaben and if i had only listened to what she was saying i would have know. and that was when it dawned to me. all my troubles were related to that cup of tea. i forgot Hamidaben's tea, and now i was being plagued by the tea that belonged to her and instead found itself poured down the sink.

the curse of Hamidaben's tea was turning out to be a formidable nemesis. and the only way out of it was to have didi make extra tea the next day and make sure that Hamidaben get it. and Voila! my life returned back to normal.

call me silly, but it's true.

you don't want to be cursed by Hamidaben's tea!

;)

the tune floating in the wind as of now...

this one's for you...

Can you see me
Floating above your head
As you lay in bed
Thinking about everything
That you did not do
Cause saying I love you
Has nothing to do with meaning it

And I don't trust you
Cause every time you're here
Your intentions are unclear
I spend every hour waiting for a phone call
That I know will never come
I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all

You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that

Do you remember
The way we used to melt
Do you remember how it felt
When I touched you
Oh cause I remember very well

And how long has it been
Since someone you let in
Has given what I gave to you

And at night when you sleep
Do you dream I would be there
Just for a minute or two do you?

You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that

Heartache heartache I just have so much
A simple love with a complex touch
There is nothing you can say or do
I called to let you know I'm through with you

...Maroon 5 people, singing the Songs About Jane. these guys rock! (at least i know that Ghosty agrees with me on this one). Also, i got a story to tell. it's about a boy and a kingfisher and a fish.

:)

to the big T...

hey!

am back from my backpacking and traveling around the South-Eastern part of the Indian sub-continent. in fact, i just got in an hour ago after a 2 and half day train journey from Howrah to Ahmedabad...

whew!! man i am so sloshed.

...anyways, like i promised before i left. i have so much to blog. i have been managing a sort of travel diary in which i have penned down the many things that i have observed and contemplated on during my travels. its quite a decent bit and its gonna take a while to blog the more worthwhile stuff down.

but first and foremost..this post is for my man 'the big T' from Germany...

Happy Birthday Timo!!

...damn man, have a great time today and know that someone somewhere in India wishes you the very best for everything!

;)

until later then...

homewards bound...

the great journey back home begins tonight. it's been over five years since i've last been to my village...its been a lot longer than that since i've travelled this extensively in my own country...but it all begins tonight! :)

i might not be able to access the internet as often as i may like to. India still needs to develope a bit more before they implement internet accessibility in the trains that ply across this vast nation (are you hearing, Mr. Laloo??). a 3 day journey in the train in the summer, traveling the normal sleeper class...that should be fun! well, i have my reading material and my pad. so the one thing that i am assured of is that i shall finally be able to finish the books that i've been wanting to read for a while now and also that there are very good chances of me being able to complete a bit of my own writing.

anyways, before i take your leave do note that i happened to chance across my script for the Kafka Seminar that i was a part of...it's up on my other blog (Experimental Soup). for all those interested, just follow my links to the Soup Bowl! this way, you shall have something to read while i'm gone.

until later then...right now i need to go meet up with a few people before i leave town.

;)

feeling blue...

बादलों की गहेरायी में सोचे क्या हजूर ? ऊंचे ऊंचे चहरे है ज़मीन से कितने दूर । आहें भरती है यह ठंडी हवा, अब ऐसे रंगी राहो में हम को क्या हुआ ?

(what is it that you think in the depths of the clouds? such lofty faces and sights are so far above the ground. the cool breeze breathes a sigh, and i wonder what has happened to me while walking on this colourful path?)

...

also, today the big South African bully turns a year older... jeez bru, you are getting old! (30 as of today, right?) ;) anyways, here's a big shoutout to you from the mystic land full of gorgeous women, India...

(here you go..i also put your picture in)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

have a great day today and also a wonderful year ahead of you. get out of Africa and go visit some place more civilized (albeit less beautiful)! but before that, go drown yourself in beer and burn some meat like in the lovely old days on the island...

miss ya!

ps: Whoa! that you new car?? awesome ride!! guess we should go hit White Castle Burgers in this baby...

of MRIs and sales girls...

aha!

so waking up early in the morning and taking Anudidi to the hospital wasn't as boring as i had presumed. its one thing to have to bear the atrocities of the Indian Medical System that requires making the patient wait and then scaring the shit outta them (like they did to poor ol' Anu) with the initial diagnosis...and completely another to have to sit in the MRI room with a loon!!

imagine...


me sitting there as only a nice kid would. messing around with my cell phone to kill time, when suddenly the man sitting next to me sticks his finger into the 'leg-tag' of my jeans and asks, "is this a pocket?"

whoa! no buddy. it's not a pocket and you most definitely don't have to fiddle with it! but who ever cares about all this, eh? the next thing i know, he's tugging at it and asking, "doesn't it fall off?"

"NO! it does not fall off. at least its not supposed to, but if you continue tugging then it most certainy will rip off. "



still, he doesn't seem to get the idea that i am not quite enjoying being fashion-man-handled by him. even when I move to a DIFFERENT seat in ANOTHER room (thank God that finally they called my sister in for the MRI and so i could leave). but pretty soon he too walks in and once again, (plop!) sits next to me...

this time around his conversation topic was, "यह phone चालू नही हो रहा । मुझे number लगा कर दे !" (my cell does not seem to work, dial the number for me). What the Fuck??? what did you just say??? ahh, well let me take a look. oh! you need to unlock your keypad (i do it for him), now make as many calls as you like!!


by now i am ready to run back home and cry mommy!! as for my sister, damn it, she should have been more worried about her broken back and her MRI, but no, even she was having fun at my expense. that is until the man turned to her and made her his next victim.

"so why are you here?"
"broke your back?"
"how did it happen? had an accident?"
"fell off your scooter?" ...his final conclusion...
"girls these days drive too fast!"

wow!! modern day Sherlock Holmes!! now even didi was ready to bolt back home... :)

anyways, the only way that we managed to escape his clutches was to rush through the MRI and literally run back to the car. and now that i sit back in the comfort of my 'sheltered' home, i wonder what is it about me that seems to attract all such loons??

*sigh* and the poor old lady at the hospital thought that i was the patient who needed a brain scan!!

***

so, as if that wasn't enough in walked the sales girl to make my life perfect with her 'product'.

mid-afternoon the doorbell rings. i half dread that it must be the pesky neighbour kid wanting me to go reboot his PC for him (someone just tell him i'm not a software technician and neither do i know shit about computers. i only know enough to ensure that mine does not crash). so i hesitatingly tip-toe up to the door and open...just a little bit, good enough to see who it is and slam it back if it is the kid. whew! not the kid. a girl in fact. actually a cute chick!! ;)

me: *opening the door wider* yes?

SG (sales girl): hello!

me: *big smile* hello!

SG: can i come in?

me: and why?

SG: well i have a new product that your sister or any female member of your household might like to try.

me: i'm so sorry, but there's no one home except for me. too bad, eh?

SG: not really. even you can check out the product. ever heard of XYZ company?

me: nope. and i am most certainly sure that i don't want to try your new product. look, i'm in the middle of something and i can't spare time right now.

SG: *giving me the ultimate seductive look* come on, you most certainly use face washes. it won't hurt to take a look. you don't have to buy anything. just try it once.

me: look dear, we are not going any where with this. i don't want your product and i am perfectly happy with my current face wash. so there. i don't think we have to go through the trials.

SG: ok. as you please. thanks anyways.

me: sorry for that, but i really don't need any product.

SG: too bad, eh? (i like it. she's smart enough to use my own words. nice)

me: yeah, too bad!

*door shut*

in retrospect...damn!! i should have let her in and see where things went from there. for all i know, there was a pretty decent chance of some fun there. or maybe my mind's just brainwashed with too much porn!!

;)